Tag Archives: cell phone

Five things I’d Rather Do than Talk on the Phone

It’s happened to us all. You’re driving down the highway after a long day of work, tired and ready to make a bad decision. Not the illegal kind of decisions, but the “this is my fourth fast food meal of the week and it’s only Tuesday” kind. You flip on the radio and that song you like to croak out in an attempt to sing is on the radio. You get about ten seconds into the song and then….

It happens.

Your phone is ringing and it’s someone you know. I’d be more likely to answer a number I didn’t recognize because I’m delusional and expect a random phone call letting me know of my impending lottery earnings. If it’s someone you know, a million questions run through your head in a 6 second span.

What do they want? How long are they going to want to talk? Is this person a talker?

You have a quick decision to make. And if you’re me, most of the time you’ll let it go to voicemail and see if they leave a message or text. If they do neither, it couldn’t have been important.

I’m not sure when we all decided text messaging was more useful, but lets face it, no one really wants to hold the phone up to their face for an hour. Especially if you own one of the trapper keeper sized IPhone 6pluses. 74% of all mobile phone users worldwide use text messaging so I can’t be alone in this thinking right?

To justify my shortcomings, here are ten things I’ve decided to do rather than talk on the phone at least once in my life:

  1. Continue watching whatever the hell was on TV

I watch a fair amount of television with an unruly amount of Cool Ranch Doritos and Salsa in front of me. Sometimes, I just want to spend a Saturday morning watching a terrible movie like Man of the House with the now with one less fan Tommy Lee Jones. If I’m going to answer the phone, you’d better hope I was suffering through an episode of The Challenge (Still won’t answer) or Justified (Won’t answer either).

  1. Absolutely Nothing

There is a certain satisfaction in doing absolutely nothing on a work-free day. The annoyances of your day job are forgotten while you sit around and contemplate a trip to Wal-Mart or heating up another Hot Pocket. There is something to be said when you avoid a phone call to do nothing for just fifteen more minutes. Think about how much sense that doesn’t make.

  1. Listen to Music

Covered in the introduction, but if I’ve decided to dance around my apartment to James Brown’s “The Payback” in my bathrobe then leave me be! It makes no sense to end my personal dance show to listen to a story about the deal Ted got on his new truck.

  1. Eat

If I’m in the middle of nice plate of barbecue and corn, please don’t expect me to answer. Eating in the privacy of my home is my time to celebrate the company of myself. Keyword: privacy. Which also means I won’t be accepting phone calls.

  1. Play Games/Facebook Scroll

Here you are, typing that incredibly witty reply to a comment on your Throwback Thursday picture and your dentist calling to remind you to make an appointment interrupts your creative genius. If you haven’t pressed ignore during the middle of an important Facebook scroll, I just don’t really know if I can trust you. We all know how that newsfeed refreshes.

The day and age we all live in has made society more reliant on their phones. Does this make me unreliable during a distant emergency? Probably. Does this make me or anyone else a bad person? Of course not. But for future reference; the next time that my house is on fire, just shoot me a text. It’ll probably reach me faster.

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