“Confidence is the key.” A phrase I should have tattoo’ed somewhere on my chest next to “The World is Mine.” It’s something some of us have and everyone else wishes they had. In a day and age where jobs can be determined by who you know and dates can be determined by what’s in your wallet, it’s an advantage to have confidence.
With confidence, you can stand next to the man with the million dollar trust fund. You can have a formidable chance when competing against the Goliath-clones who roam the clubs and bars. It can inspire you to keep working towards that goal that every man has of achieving ultimate success in life.
The second listed definition of Confidence according to dictionary.com: belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.
So if confidence is the key to everything a person could want, how come everyone doesn’t have it?
People aren’t born with confidence. It just doesn’t work like that. Everyone has moments of temporary confidence. Whenever you receive a compliment. Whenever you meet someone new who seems as interested in you as you are them. It is when you challenge yourself to become a better person that your confident nature can truly develop and grow.
It took a meaningless award to spark change within me. During the 7th grade awards ceremony for class superlatives, my name(along with my best friend’s) was called up to receive an award for “Shyest Boy.” I don’t even remember who even won the same award on the female side. All I knew is I was embarrassed and I wanted to change. It was no overnight process but over time, I evolved into a much more self-reliant person.
Here are some tips for inquiring minds:
1. Start Exercising.
It doesn’t matter if you’re running for tone and endurance or lifting for muscle and size, exercise. Studies have shown that consistent exercise will improve a person’s physical appearance. If you don’t find yourself to be decent looking, what makes you think other people will?
2. Respect Yourself
Confidence is an attitude. You have to respect yourself for who you are and not worry so much about if every action you make is going to be judged by someone else. You have to be comfortable with the idea that not every one is going to agree with you at every turn. If you can learn to love and respect yourself, others will notice as you naturally project an assurance in yourself.
3. Change the way you think
Instead of saying, “I can’t,” say “I can.” Instead of saying, “I don’t think I could ever learn,” say “I know I could learn if I tried.” Think more rational instead of irrational. If you change your pattern of thinking from negative to positive, it will project in your movements. I used to have an issue with not being sure of myself which affected my speech and caused a slight stutter when questioned. Changing the way you think will slowly begin to change your cognitive schemas and as a result, help you gain confidence you never knew you had.
4. Set goals for your life
How many times do you hear someone say they have plans to do something but never do them? How many times have you met someone with no direction in life? Life is way too short to sit around not knowing what you want to do to get ahead. Make a plan for success. It doesn’t have to be direct but needs to at least allow you to see where you want to end up long term.
5. Smile More
People respond to a smile. Try smiling at a random person and see what happens. If you get anything less than a smile back, come find me. It’s the easiest way to make yourself and others feel good and comfortable. Smiling is said to trigger activity in the left frontal cortex area of your brain, the area where happiness is registered. Smiling is a very important part of connecting with others. Receiving a smile back from others is going to do nothing but help raise your confidence.
Stop being so negative about yourself and learn to enjoy what you offer to the world. No one else can enjoy what you offer to life if you don’t enjoy yourself.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”