Me: Man I’m telling you, Chris Paul has some of the best handles in the league.
Friend: He’s no A.I. (Allen Iverson, for those who don’t know)
Me: True, but Chris can carry the ball well.
Friend: WHOA…PAUSE MAN! PAUSE!
If you’re a grown man reading this, on how many occasions have you been in this situation? You’re trying to have a simple conversation about sports and some guy decides that what you said could be taken as homosexual. If you’ve never been in this situation by explaining the meaning of “pause.”
“Pause” or “No Homo” are terms used to negate or mask the sexual connotation of a statement.
“No Homo” – Brett the Intern – A parody of “Ridin’ Solo” from Jason Derulo
If you have never heard of these terms, you are probably wondering why someone would use these terms. Hell, if you hear these terms EVERYDAY you are probably wondering why brothers use these terms. I’m here to tell you why.
“Pause” and “No Homo” have been around forever. Allegedly, former Republican candidate John McCain once said, “I love my country, no homo.” Yes, I’m serious. We can thank rappers such as Lil’ Wayne and especially Cam’ron for bringing this term into the mainstream. Cam’ron and his affinity towards the color pink was looked at as okay because Cam used “no homo” and not because it’s just another color.
One fear that men have that they don’t openly talk about is that we’re deathly afraid of being looked at as “gay” in any way. As homophobic as hip-hop culture can be, this shouldn’t be a surprise. It’s hard enough for most men to even become secure with their own sexuality whether gay or straight. We don’t want to wear pants that even look remotely tight. Why? “Because gay guys wear tight pants.” We can’t watch Desperate Housewives. No way. Because “gay guys watch Desperate Housewives.” Over time, we’ve gotten so afraid of how we appear to the general public that we’re terrified to hug even a long time male friend.
A defense mechanism? Yes and I even find the terms offensive.
So here goes:
ENOUGH. ENOUGH with these terms. There is no reason to try and cover your statements that may have a homosexual connotation in your eyes, I’m willing to be that 85% of people won’t notice what you think they did. If you’re a heterosexual person and we know it, most people just accept that and go on with life. I admire artists such as Kanye West or Wiz Khalifa who wear or say whatever they want without fear of being looked at as gay. Prince is one of the biggest artists of all-time and wears questionable clothing but you don’t seem him concerned over his audience’s view of his sexuality. The guy probably uses solid gold toilet tissue and drives a Bentley that resembles a fighter jet, why should he care?
Do you look at your dog and say “I love my dog Spot, no bestiality though?” Do you look at your Toyota Corolla and say, “I love my car, no mechanophilia(sexual attraction to machines). If you really use “no homo” or “pause” all the time, all you are doing is allowing people over time to wonder what you’re hiding.
So STOP. STOP. Just use correct English men, no one is going to think you’re gay unless you give them a reason. And using those terms are giving people plenty of reason to think so. If you’re secure with your sexuality, it will show.
Furthermore, there is no taking back some statements. You can’t say “Yo man, you have some pretty eyes…no homo.” Sorry, it just doesn’t work like that.